如果申请者的标化成绩、课外活动等都相差无几，想要在众多优秀的申请者中脱颖而出，那优秀的文书无疑是“点睛之笔”！的确，挖掘自己的独特性，讲好自己的故事是难的。但我们在动笔前，也可以参考一下往届的优秀主文书，帮助自己开阔思路，更好地打磨自己的作品。
《纽约时报》每年都会发布青少年关于“金钱、工作、社会阶层”等相关话题的大学申请文书，今年已经是第10年。这些文书代表了大学招生官所寻求录取的学生的重要品质或特性，有非常高的参考价值
在2023年12月16日刊登的4篇“年度文书”中，申请者用自己的方式回答了：我们应该如何处理父母在谋生方式上发生的巨大变化？我们为什么要得到钱？我们应该如何处理好财富与贫穷的关系……
一起来看下今年《纽约时报》精心选出的3篇文章。
Sydney Carroll
“We took ‘family owned and operated’ to a new level.”
Franklin, Tenn. — Battle Ground Academy
原文
When you meet new people, there are things you immediately know: their hair color, their height, their fashion sense. As for me, I also immediately know who they voted for, that they’re a proud N.R.A. member, or that they support the “sanctity of life” and Southern “heritage.”
That’s because I work at my family’s carwash, so naturally my first introduction to people is their bumper stickers.
I didn’t always work at a carwash in the outwardly beautiful, but decidedly fraught, Columbia, Tenn. In fact, until I was 14 my father worked on Wall Street — the New York one, not the Tennessee one boasting our county’s only Chipotle.
But when my 40-year-old aunt died, my parents engaged in radical grieving methods: having complete midlife crises, leaving their stable jobs, moving us 950 miles away to Nashville and opening a carwash. As you can imagine, my parents’ crises translated to an entirely new crisis for me. In Tennessee, it often feels as though I stick out like a blue crayon in a 125-pack of red crayons (with a sharpener attached).
When my family opened the carwash, we took “family owned and operated” to a new level. My dad traded in his khakis and button-down shirt for shorts and industrial work shirts with our logo on the pocket. My mom abandoned her past experience managing accounts with Cartoon Network and pivoted to making WindMaster signs telling people not to hit other people.
And me? I went from an eighth grader to an assistant manager.
I know things that virtually no other 17-year-olds know or want to know: how to grease equipment, the perfect mixture of chemicals to get algae off cement floors and the best way to dodge a car flying directly at you. I’ve also had the pleasure of being the on-duty manager when cars have crashed in our parking lot, leading to my trying to work a brand-new surveillance system while profusely apologizing to the police, who very obviously wished an adult was present.
There are, however, things that have happened at the carwash that are far from funny. As a female and a minor, customers have made comments and jokes when talking to me that have made me feel deeply uncomfortable, exposed and, most importantly, out of place.
It’s hard to feel I belong in Tennessee, where we’re on the news weekly for a new book ban, shooting or shutdown of a Pride festival. I’m entrenched in a place where so many interactions feel like a contradiction of everything I stand for. It’s not easy to accept that our regulars — the people I’ve grown to love who always bring me a caramel candy or a water or show me pictures of their kids — don’t believe in my right to reproductive health care. Some of them carry guns, and most of them are unvaccinated. They care about me, but they don’t care about me.
And they’re never going to truly know me, the me who marches in protests and works on political campaigns. Part of the reason for all those loud bumper stickers is that we live in a time of not only great division, but even greater hatred. I’ll admit I’m no angel, but I truly believe that activism must come from a place of love. So I’m going to keep fighting for what I believe in, not in spite of but because of the people I disagree with.
Although the carwash regulars may not fight for my rights, I love them enough to fight for theirs. I’ll fight for them to have free universal health care, for their kids’ guaranteed school lunches and for a fairer economy.
I may be ready to leave Tennessee, but its future matters to me. So while I’m here, I’m going to try to change some minds, whether it’s one door, one protest or one carwash at a time.
文章点评
这篇文书述说了作者在家族经营的洗车店中的成长历程和工作经历：从一个十几岁的青少年逐步成长为一名被迫承担起成人责任的洗车行经理。在这一过程中，她始终怀揣着积极进取的精神和渴望创造变革的愿望。
作者生动地捕捉到了从纽约到田纳西州所经历的文化差异，将“汽车保险杠贴纸”视作这种差异的象征。她审视了与老客户之间复杂的关系，展现出了极高的洞察力和成熟的思考能力，尽管大家的意识形态存在差异，但彼此仍然心怀关怀，友好相处。文章的写作风格引人入胜，充满了反思，尤其是对洗车场和当地生活丰富多彩的细节描写，让读者仿佛身临其境。
这篇文书生动展现了她对社会差异和分歧的敏感认知，以及她在个人信仰与社区现实之间的内心挣扎。即使对于持相反观点的人，作者也以包容的态度对待，这展示了申请者独特的思考角度和成长中的开放思维，让招生官为之侧目。
Sam Smith
“I have always been ‘The Money Man.’”
La Jolla, Calif. — La Jolla High School
原文
There it is. The little mutant, who is supposed to be immortal, lies still, right beneath our noses.
The sun pulsates down on our backs as midday approaches on a scalding day in San Diego. The cockroach lies still, sprawled across the floor with one of its six legs pointed in each direction. An assemblage has emerged around the dead invertebrate, as our posse quarrels about what we could do with this prospect.
“Bet you won’t eat that cockroach right now,” challenges one person.
“Ten bucks says I will!” I shout confidently.
The small crowd grows into a state of silence, as heads begin to turn toward the instigator, then back to me, anticipating a standoff.
I have always been the “Money Man,” so being offered to eat a cockroach, or any other similar requests, in exchange for monetary value was a common occurrence. I cannot explain why $10 entices me to conquer obscure feats. I have had a fortunate childhood where my earned dollars would typically buy a Snickers bar for my enjoyment.
From a young age, I had to learn to live without a father figure. Our trips to Mission Bay Park were always cut short when his next rotation came, leaving me to teach myself how important a spiral was when throwing a football.
As a child, I quickly learned not everyone lived a life like mine. Growing up, due to my father’s job, we lived overseas, providing me firsthand lessons in the value of money. I have witnessed poverty at its worst. Living abroad opened my eyes to the sheer number of people who would consume a cockroach for an American $10 bill.
I watched children who were 5-years-old in China doing backbreaking work for their families, just to make ends meet. Or beggars lining the streets of Egypt as their prestigious neighbors parted the road in their gold-plated G-wagons, spending millions on parties and feasts rather than helping their predecessors. Or my own family members in Mexico, who begged us to bring back clean water jugs and books for them and their children.
I may be privileged, but I have seen every nook and cranny of what it takes to make it in life. So, when the opportunity comes to make an extra dollar, I understand its value and embrace it.
Maybe I am money-driven, because it is my everlasting belief that I have every reason to make it in life. I have witnessed people come from immense poverty. So, I have no excuse to not make it, because people around the globe, who have so much less than me, still manage to hustle their way to the top. Maybe it is the belief that if I learned the value of a dollar at an early age, I would be able to help my many family members struggling on the other side of the border.
Maybe that is why I took a job in construction, not because I needed the money, but because I understood its importance.
I hope attending college, something most of my family couldn’t do, will allow me to both help provide for them financially and be present in their lives. My family taught me the importance of a dollar, no matter what, even if I had to become “Cockroach Guy.” My value of money and understanding of its global meaning will hopefully help me succeed in the classroom and beyond.
*上下滑动查看完整内容
文章点评
这篇文章以作者接受挑战吃蟑螂的经历为引子，通过一个富有创意的故事快速吸引了招生官的眼球，引发了他们的阅读兴趣。
整篇文书述说了作者在国外生活中目睹贫穷和不公，意识到对于许多人来说，10美元已经是一笔不小的财富。这些经历让他深刻理解了生活的不易。
同时，作者也展示了自己如何通过理解金钱的价值来支持家庭，并希望通过上大学进一步帮助他们。这些经历和反思表明了他对金钱、家庭和全球不平等的深刻认识，以及他如何将这些认识应用到自己的生活中。这种真实的描写使得作者看上去更加有血有肉，更加真实可信。
此外，作者审视了自己相对特权的地位，以及这种特权如何塑造了自己的世界观。这样的思考深度在大学申请阶段显得非常成熟。作者对父亲的叙述以及个人经历的分享，也展现了他作为一个真实、有血有肉的人，符合招生官期望看到的品质。
Haley Song
“Kickstand up, ignition growling and helmet firmly on, the world is new again.”
Phnom Penh, Cambodia — Logos International School
原文
Through the morning haze of dust particles, car exhaust and visible heat waves, my mind races faster than my motorbike’s 30 kilometers per hour. A world filled with incomprehensible, outdoor merchant hollers and a window pane delivery man on a motorbike tempts the curious and analytical.
As my mind races with curiosity, I am challenged as a driver. Another motorbike’s sudden swerve or a cloth thought to be roadkill makes me jerk for my handlebar brakes. Although keen, my senses are not supernatural; nothing can account for the lawless roads of Phnom Penh.
My daily drive to school is anything but monotonous. Our starting node is dropped in a gated community. Kickstand up, ignition growling and helmet firmly on, the world is new again. Amongst the houses passed, a pattern emerges of villa, Lexus and renovation — a gold spray-painted gate or a large green overshade — giving me a peek into the homeowner’s head. Although the thought of finding rushes of neural activity in their actual brain sounds endlessly exciting, I am content with deducing their aesthetic values — for now.
Before bidding the neighborhood guards farewell, I stop very carefully for the woman driving a Rolls-Royce with an infant in front while a woman pulling a tin wagon of brooms and foliage pulls up behind me. Questions of luxury car shipping, infant safety and wagon construction are trumped by the irony and tragedy of the gap I create between them.
I join the hubbub of commuters spreading like liquid particles filling in every ounce of empty space. I reject an opening to swerve through two large cars, but apparently, my depth perception fails me as another driver seizes the opportunity.
My recent failure to calculate time and acceleration fades, as I ponder humanity’s natural acclimation of skills. I take the first and second virtues of volleyball, aggressiveness and communication, to heart after my failure. A traffic light’s contradictory instructions open the traffic floodgates, but I make it through with deliberation. Every yellow light run and sidewalk driven on drops me into a thought experiment on human nature. Although for me, questions of habit, the inorganic nature of driving and social pressure rise before the innate chaos and evil of the human soul.
Signage in Khmer, English, Chinese and Korean becomes as legible as my abilities allow as my motorbike comes to a halt. A truck filled to the brim with factory workers blocks my path. The intersection’s green light flashes, and the truck continues straight, just missing the turn to the brand-new H&M in the country. It is a wonder that they didn’t make one earlier, considering how cheap the transportation fees would be.
Seeing the manifestation of global issues makes me realize that I will always appreciate Model U.N. for the large-scale awareness, but I could have never felt the weight and burdens of the world without everyday life. Ingrained systems built on poor foundations cannot be easily rebuilt. With little things like not running yellow lights or connecting impactful NGOs with students that want to help, I can try to help support a new foundation.
Through the outdoor market, past the conglomerate’s mall and turning to face a neon construction sign road, I am finally on the road leading to my school. The concept of sequent occupance has always stuck with me. From the broad effects of genocide to the more minute classification of “charred animal on spit,” everything is an amalgamation of its past and present.
The chaos, injustice and joy of the roads of Phnom Penh have fundamentally made me who I am, and I will only continue to grow as I leave them. As I pull into the parking lot, I know that my education has started far before the bell has rung.
文章点评
这篇文章以作者骑摩托车上学途中的所见、所思和感悟为主线，带领读者穿梭于充满烟火气息的街头场景。从街头商贩、汽车尾气到晨雾中的灰尘颗粒，作者的镜头让我们身临其境。
尽管这些场景是日常生活中的常见画面，但作者却能以微观视角触发深刻的思考。她巧妙地将对贫富差距、全球化带来的机遇与挑战等议题融入这些琐碎的生活片段中，展现了她对自我成长和社会认知的深刻思考。
新闻来源：https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/16/your-money/college-essays-money.html
这些精选的文书，对于国内学生而言非常具有参考价值，主要因为以下5大特点：
1.筛选团队的专业性和权威性
这些文书之所以备受关注，首先是因为它们经过了一支由教育、升学领域的资深专家组成的筛选团队的精心挑选。这些专家凭借丰富的经验和专业的眼光，能够准确地评估文书的质量和价值，因此选出的文书具有一定的权威度和普适性，对于国内学生来说，这无疑是一个可靠的参考资源。
2.精选文书的稀缺性和卓越性
每年，只有4-5篇文书能够从数百篇征集文书中脱颖而出，被评选为“最佳文书”。这一事实本身就足以证明这些文书的内容足够深刻和动人，表达足够流畅。这种稀缺性和卓越性使得这些文书成为了国内学生提升写作水平和拓宽视野的宝贵资料。
3.主题的针对性和启发性
每年的最佳文书主题都是关于金钱、工作或社会阶层等与学生生活息息相关的话题。这些主题不仅能够帮助同学们开阔思路，还能启发同学们写出能激发招生官同理心的文书。通过借鉴这些优秀文书，国内学生可以更好地理解如何将自己的经历和见解融入到文书中，从而提高自己的申请竞争力。
4.作者背景的多样性和代表性
最佳文书的作者背景各样，涵盖了不同阶段、不同层次的学生。这使得国内学生可以根据自己的实际情况，选择与自己相仿的作者作为参考对象，从而更有针对性地进行学习和借鉴。
5.美国学生的个性化和独特性
在最佳文书中，美国学生常常会有比较多的细节描写，善于表达个性化，敢于突出“我”的想法和声音。而这些都是中国学生的文书非常欠缺的。通过学习美国学生的写作风格和技巧，国内学生可以提高自己的写作水平，使自己的文书更具吸引力和说服力。
对于招生官来说，他们更加关心的是，你是一个怎样的人？你的经历是什么？你从中学到了什么？你希望未来自己会是怎样的人……等等。
因此，要想撰写出一篇出色的申请文书，关键在于深入挖掘并反思自己的经历，思考你想要呈现的是一个怎样的自己，以及如何呈现这个自己。
只要文书中描述的是你真实的故事、真实的情感、真实的个性，并展示出你的个人思考，相信大家能够打动你的“梦校”！
