每年放榜季，哈佛大学校报都会如期公开当年录取的10篇优秀新生文书，今年当然也不例外。正在准备美本申请的同学，不妨借此机会沉浸式感受一下真正打动哈佛招生官的文字到底长什么样。
两篇优秀文书分享
George’s Essay
“We need you to throw bombs.”
It was a rather unorthodox way of telling me to write something controversial. With the deadline of our first issue rapidly approaching, the Co-Editors-in-Chief of my high school newspaper wanted to do something special, to set a precedent. Readership was the priority, and our best shot of increasing it was through the publication of a wide variety of eye-catching topics: the pervasive alcohol problem, the sexist dress code, and, of course, what would later be my opinion piece on our suburb’s diversity, or rather lack thereof.
But I’m sure the newspaper teacher was beginning to have her initial doubts about my ability to run the section. While others already had an idea of what they wanted to write about, I—the supposed outspoken Opinions Editor—was the only one who didn’t have a clue what to write about. Was I even deserving of the position if I couldn’t speak my mind on simple school issues?
As the only junior awarded a section editor position, I somehow beat out seniors who had applied for Opinions Editor as their top choice. However, it was only a few weeks in before I fell upon the same self-doubts about writing for the paper that I had had as a sophomore the year before. Taking on the role of clueless newspaper newbie early on that sophomore year, I found guidance only in the sponsor’s singular, resonating message: “Write about whatever interests you.” It was supposedly as simple as that. No parameters. No governing rubric. No monotonous prompts. No, unlike the five-paragraph, formal essays and research papers we were programmed to churn out, my school paper presented an unprecedented opportunity of free will at hand, a creative free will that no other class had ever really emphasized firstmost. But not even I could capitalize on that kind of independence. That first year on the staff would mostly bear witness to the same “who, what, where, when, and why” features, news, and sports pieces, issue after issue, that demonstrated a skill in article writing, sure, but didn’t quite showcase a writer’s voice that was true to me.
That was to change, I resolved. This time around, I would write about the topic that was inherently bomb-laden: my heritage and my place in the predominantly white community where I had grown up in. Being, for a period of time, the only student of color in my elementary school, as well as the unfortunate recipient of countless, blatantly racist Asian impressions and jokes, would eventually shape a perspective that I was hesitant to speak openly about. Not anymore. There was too much at stake, an identity even. I could recognize that much. A long night of meticulous drafting would pass before giving way to a rough, but impassioned, opinion piece that spoke to the lack of both racial and political diversity that distinguished our community. The administration went on to censor out the more colorful aspects of all of our opinion pieces, but, for once, I could unabashedly take pride in the voice expressed in that draft. It was never about the stun factor, but rather about finding the courage to give my writing a stun factor in the first place.
Reflecting now on my involvement both on the paper as well as for other print publications, I’ve come to accept a certain credence. The opportunities writing offers are wide and plentiful in terms of self-expression at large, but the pursuit of topics that push you outside of your comfort zone makes the difference needed to write with a compelling conviction. As it turned out, this stated call to conviction came as the curious result of a simple request, a summoning of some internal, unrelenting voice capable of “throwing bombs.”
点评
George 的文书开篇便一鸣惊人，以对话开篇是一个热门的选择，这具有讽刺意味的是可能会让文书面临流于俗套的风险。然而，George 凭借纯粹的出人意料，巧妙地避免了这一陷阱。同时，通过立即澄清自己谈论的是新闻业，他预先化解了讨论“炸弹”这样具有争议性的话题可能带来的潜在负面影响。在这样做的过程中，他使形式完美契合了功能：既然他的文书描述了他是如何击败十二年级学长获得评论版块编辑职位的，读者自然希望看到他卓越的写作技巧闪光！
这篇文书自始至终都在维持着第一行就建立起来的平衡感，在生动的语言与保持清晰度之间走钢丝。
此外，虽然 George 应对的是学生在文书中经常遇到和讨论的、不幸却普遍存在的问题（例如面对种族歧视），但他细致入微的感悟使他脱颖而出：他的个人成长使他获得了自我表达和为他人发声所需的勇气，而不在乎结果如何。
对于任何未来的新闻工作者以及寻求走在高等教育前沿的学生来说，这都是一项不可或缺的能力。George 的文书可以通过两个微调而变得更好：关于他身份认同和边缘化这一“爆炸性”的话题直到第 5 段才引入文书，这使得它的出场显得有些突兀。此外，他提到身份认同“危在旦夕”，这一点值得更多的讨论，因为这是一个迷人的见解，如果加以充实，将更进一步展现出他显然具备的思维复杂性。然而归根结底，这篇文书对于任何在大学申请中表达了对写作相关领域感兴趣或有意选择该专业的学生来说，都是一个绝佳的范例：个人陈述正是大展身手的理想之地。
Omar’s Essay
