如何在主文书中幽默地体现对专业的热爱

早在今年年初的时候,CA就公布了2022-2023的文书题目,虽然和去年申请的题目没有变化,但作为新一届的申请者,面临竞争越来越内卷、越来越激烈的申请趋势,必须更用心准备,才能在竞争中稳操胜券。而文书的写作是一个长期打磨的过程,虽然正式的申请要到10月份才开始,但现在是时候开始动笔了。

主文书中的一类典型,就是描述自己对于专业的兴趣。今天我们就介绍一篇点路美本学生的文书案例。这个题目是江老师和学生头脑风暴的时候构思的主题,用不一样的方式来体现申请者对专业的兴趣。

1

Warning! Warning! Your heart misses a beat when my social media pops up on your screen.

A fresh pig heart.

Or a pair of shockingly human-looking sheep eyes.

Or a horse knee joint with intact cartilage and ligaments.

小心!小心!当我社交媒体上的帖子出现在你的屏幕上,你的心脏就会漏跳一拍。

一颗新鲜的猪心。

或是一双令人震惊的人类模样的绵羊眼睛。

或是一个软骨和韧带完好的马的膝关节。

上面这个开头用惊悚的方式,引人入胜,一下子就抓住了读者的兴趣。

2

While other teenagers post pictures of trendy Starbucks Frappuccinos, silly selfies or fancy concerts, I flood mine with warm surgical gore and preserved dissected organs. I am absorbed in this wonderful world of bioscience, just like little kids who are overwhelmed in Disneyland. Among the numerous dissections I have done in the XXXX’s School BioScience Program, and many labs I experienced, here are my top three favorite experiments! Ready for the count down?

当其他的同龄人在社交媒体上传时尚的星巴克星冰乐,或傻瓜式自拍,或花哨的演唱会照片时,我用外科手术留下的血块和解剖器官的照片来装点自己的社交媒体。我沉浸在这个奇妙的生物科学世界里,就像在迪斯尼乐园里目眩神驰的小孩一样。在我在XXXX高中和校外实验室所做过的无数次解剖和实验中,下面是我最喜欢的三个实验!准备好倒计时了吗?

开头下面两小节开宗明义,指出作者和同龄人的不同,和她对生物科学的特殊爱好。用巧妙的方法引导出主要段落:准备好了吗?下面是她的社交媒体里最惊悚的三个实验啦。

3

Three. The moment I stepped onto the B1 floor in the operating room for rats of the State Key Laboratory of Oral Disease in Chengdu, China. With hair covered, gloves on, and a respirator softening my breath, I locked my eyes on the operation for RNA extraction from bone cells. Since enzyme that can degenerate RNA is everywhere on people--from our skin to hair-- any contact with the delicate sample should be avoided. Upon the death of the rat, a sharp scissor cut off its molar on the ice. Ground up, mixed with chemicals, and repeatedly centrifuged, the little tooth transformed itself into the white floc of RNA after four hours of careful, proficient work. Only then, my stomach reminded me it was way passed dinner time. However, my body was fully fueled with a sense of achievement.

No.3:当我踏上中国成都口腔疾病国家重点实验室B1层去为老鼠做实验的那一刻,我盖上头发,戴上手套,呼吸机使我的呼吸变得柔和,我的目光锁定在从骨细胞中提取RNA的操作上。由于能使RNA退化的酶在人体上无处不在——从我们的皮肤到头发——所以应该避免与精细样本的任何接触。老鼠死后,一把锋利的剪刀在冰上割断了它的臼齿。磨碎,与化学物质混合,反复离心,经过四个小时的精心和熟练的工作,这颗小牙齿变成了白色的RNA絮状物。直到那时,我的胃才提醒我,晚饭时间早就过了。然而,我饥饿的身体里充满了成就感。

倒计时开始。倒数第三的案例,是成都的一段科研经历,从老鼠的牙齿上取RNA的过程。

4

Two. When the chest cavity of a pig was torn open in the Visible Heart Lab in the University of Minnesota, sickness seized some of us, only to end up with vomiting; however, I was immune. The warm smell of stomach, liver, and spleen, instantly engulfed the room. Without fear, I excitedly forced my way to the desk for better observation. As the doctor cut open the pericardium, a vibrantly beating heart came into my view. Scarlet in color and bigger than my fist, it was laced with purple coronary vessels. It was beautiful! The vibrant organ, perfectly structured, precisely rhythmed, evoked my dream to decipher every mystery nature so cunningly displayed in the human body. Laying my bare hands on the warm heart, feeling the mild heat, the slippery protective fluid, and the powerful resilience of this organ, I was overwhelmed by a sense of joy. That vital organ, contracting and relaxing with rhythm and strength, stiffened my resolve to sustain the lives of the sick.

No.2. 当一头猪的胸腔在明尼苏达大学可视心脏实验室被撕开时,我们中的一些人感到恶心,最后开始呕吐;然而,我是免疫的。温热的胃、肝、脾的气味立刻席卷了整个房间。我毫不害怕,兴奋地挤到操作台前,以便更好地观察。当医生切开心包时,一颗跳动有力的心脏出现在我的眼前。它颜色鲜红,比我的拳头还大,上面有紫色的冠状动脉血管。它很漂亮!这个充满活力的器官,结构完美,它节奏精准地跳动,唤起了我的心愿和梦想,想要破解人体巧妙表现出来的每一个奥秘。我把赤裸的双手放在这颗温暖的心上,感受着它温和的热度、光滑的保护液,以及这颗器官强大的生命力,我被一种喜悦的感觉淹没了。这个重要的器官,有节奏、有力量地收缩和放松,坚定了我拯救生命的决心。

倒数第二的案例,在明尼苏达大学解剖和观察猪心脏的激动心情。

5

One: In ovariectomy on a litter of female rats, the doctor invited me to do the surgery. Right. It was my burning passion and constantly reliable work for two weeks that earned the trust from the doctor. Excitement passes through me like an electric current, I blast into action: From administering anesthesia to the rats, to cutting open the abdomens to expose the cavity; from tracing the stripy uterus to the ovaries, to ligating the ovaries and dissecting them; from suturing the muscle and skin layer by layer, to cleaning the wound to prevent infection. I did it. While a sense of achievement roared inside me, so did curiosity. I poured out every question, gorging on the doctor’s responses like a starving child. With just five hours of work, I was rewarded with knowledge and precious hands-on experiences, not to mention the affirmation of my passion.

No.1. 在对一窝雌性老鼠进行卵巢切除时,医生邀请我做手术。没错,正是我燃烧的激情和连续两周可靠的工作,赢得了医生的信任。兴奋像电流一样穿过我,我开始行动:从给老鼠麻醉,到剖开腹部露出腹腔;从追踪条纹状子宫到卵巢,再到结扎卵巢并解剖卵巢;从一层一层缝合肌肉和皮肤,到清洗伤口以防止感染。我做到了。我心中涌起一股成就感,好奇心也随之高涨。我滔滔不绝地提出每一个问题,像一个饥饿的孩子一样贪婪地听着医生的回答。仅仅五个小时的工作,我就收获了知识和宝贵的实践经验,更不用说对我的热情的肯定了。

倒数第一的案例,花五个小时给老鼠做输软管结扎的过程。

6

In the face of complaints about my weird obsession, I always shrugged them off, in an effort to avoid further glares from my friends. Rather than haunting disgust, my favorite memories of the dozens of this cherished lab work I have done, are tied to professionalism, proficiency, passion, and devotion. These images not only represent the wonderful memories I have with biology in high school, but they represent my dream.

听到对我这种奇怪痴迷的抱怨,我总是耸耸肩,努力避免朋友们再瞪我一眼。我最难忘的记忆就是这几十个宝贵的实验,在我心中,它们与专业、熟练、激情和奉献联系在一起。这些影像不仅代表了我在高中生物课上的美好回忆,也代表了我的梦想。

结尾总结我最爱的生物实验,从实验故事联系到我对生物专业的热爱和执着。

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